July 30, 2019July 30, 2019 Stephaniemary Fagbeyiro kids, Marriages

How To Plan and Attend A Kid-Friendly Wedding

pexels-photo-794254

At some point and time in our life, we have probably attended or at least seen weddings where children have been included or have actually been present at the ceremony. It’s becoming less taboo to have children in attendance at an event that is usually reserved for adults. Thankfully though because having young children witness the commitment that is made between a man and a woman who love, honor and respect one another, before both God and their very close family friends is paramount. An accurate picture is given to the child’s mind, heart and soul of what to expect when looking for a mate.

However there are a few things that you would need to consider when planning a wedding that involves kids, or simply to allow their presence at your nuptials. pexels-photo-1250452 One, is that if it has been decided that you the couple are going to having an adults-only wedding, you will need to specify beforehand. Your invitations have an RSVP card that should allow you to include a plus one and or specifications on the invitation itself, even on the couples wedding website.

As the couple who has decided to include either their sons, daughters, cousins, nieces or nephews children the wedding party, a major suggestion would be to either hire or call up a close friend or family member who you are comfortable with to watch the children, this can include the children that are in the wedding party or any of your guests children. maxresdefault (1) During the months ahead of the wedding, simply going the extra mile to ensure that your venue, whether it be your local church, a church facility or venue has a separate room where the children can wait until they are called or until the ceremonies proceedings have concluded. As a guest, you can also ask the host if they have made arrangements as to where the kids will be during the ceremony. Hosts, you would need to have a responsible young adult or someone who will be responsible for their welfare, making sure that the children remain composed, hair and clothes kept pristine for the entire event. shopping The goal is to have the kids in a focused and calm state of being so that at the moment that they are needed they aren’t distracted by other things happening around them. Also, by having coordinated plans to have adequate childcare helps parents feel at ease, that the option to not only bring kids is welcomed, but that they have an actual place to keep them during the ceremony.

As a parent of any children who will be in attendance, it’s also important to plan ahead. This includes packing any books, toys, anything that will keep your child/children preoccupied throughout the ceremony. If there happens to be no other option but to keep your kids right by your side during the ceremony, there are a couple of guidelines to remember as well. With babies and toddlers you’ll want to keep them as quiet, and content as possible, by bringing blankets, bottles, and diapers, these can be left in your car, A pacifier and maybe a small favorite plush toy should help your small child stay preoccupied. If not, you could always step outside if your toddler or young child becomes unruly.

Intermission

woman-flowers-holidays-girl-6270

Once the ceremony is over, the kids will no doubt want to play, which is fine because as pictures are being taken and the guests are greeting one another, you can use this time to give the kids a restroom break, provide them with snacks as well as allow them to run around…. a little.

Once you have made your way to the reception hall, everyone should be ready to sit and listen to the proceedings which should last about 30 minutes to an hour. pexels-photo-1679825 Once again to the hosts and couples, it’s best if you have the same option which is to separate the children from the adults in attendance, in an available room with a responsible adult to watch over them. As a parent who decides to bring any toys, books or electronics to keep their kids occupied while they are attending the reception. Remember that kids can be irresponsible and that any items that you bring for your kids you will end up having to account for.

The best part about having children at the wedding ceremony is that you are never expected to stay long. Soon after the couples first dinner has commenced, the food and or wine bar has been opened, and yes, I would recommend a totally alternate menu for the kids. Think precut sandwiches, finger foods, drink pouches, and fruits. Saving the possibly expensive plates for the adults. kid-friendly-wedding-2

Soon after the party and mingling has begun, you can expect that your kids would have worn themselves out, you can now thank the bride and groom, as well as the family for their hospitality and get those children settled in for night. Thankfully for the host, and the newlyweds you have the rest of the evening and well into the night to not worry about that. So let the festivities begin….

Stephaniemary Fagbeyiro

June 18, 2019 Stephaniemary Fagbeyiro Love, Marriages, Proposals, Uncategorized

Candlelight Vows

pexels-photo-1161372

If you have ever had the chance to plan your wedding, you are well aware of the numerous small details that go into the overall wedding itself. Writing your wedding vows happens to be one of them. Personally speaking I prefer a smaller, more intimate ceremony, with just myself, beau, the officiant, and close family and friends. Your wedding details may be different, however the main goal to successfully writing personalized wedding vows, is about capturing what is so ‘just not words or mere sayings’ but expressing your commitment to your soulmate.

Their are a few things that would do well to be included anywhere within your wedding vows.

Making your vows personal. Taking the time to actually sit down and reflect on the qualities that first attracted you to your soon be spouse. I would forgo the obvious physical qualities this time around, and mention a few characteristic. An example would be “I, state your name, Take you, state their name to be my loving wife/husband…. include your own thoughts and feelings towards your spouse. Make it where you express what you most admire about them, I would forgo the “sweet nothings” phrases such as “Your love sends me to the moon,” instead remind them about that time that both of you visited that party out on the terrace and, the moon that night, yeah, they remember.

Authenticity is one endearing quality about writing your vows, the beautiful thing about your unique vows is that you don’t have to go the traditional route. The phrases can be altered or expanded upon. For example, when using the phrase “To have and to hold” you can say I fell in love with you since the day I first saw you at the local bistro, I admire your honesty, bravery, love and commitment towards the future that we have chosen to journey, before both God and man.” Till death do us part. Those are some strong words, and although I believe that they should not be removed, simply adding to the common phrase can bring out the right connotations. We get that in a long term commitment their are trying times, express your willingness to create even more bliss with them during the good times, and how you will patiently endure with them during hard times.

Many couples like to include biblical verses in their vows, many of my favorite verses are out of the book of Psalms, Song of Psalms and Ephesians. These verses focus the attention off of the two of you and more towards the Lord and His role in joining man and wife together as one. Many Jewish weddings include the phrase “I am my beloved and my beloved is mine”, other religions surely have their own quotes of devotion that they recite.

Humor is another cute way of displaying your individual personality and love for one another. You don’t necessarily have to go full on comedian, but simply by reminding them of how sweet they were when they did that thing, and that’s why you’ll always love them is enough.

Not every couple is great at writing their own vows, coming up with something endearing to say to your significant other is not always as easy as it seems. Writing your own wedding vows is actually like a creative writing project, and for $31.00 our company CDP+ Nuptials Boutique has an option for you to forgo the writers block and have your wedding vows written for you. Basically you provide the details of what makes your lover so darn awesome, add in some memories and I complete the rest creating His and Her vows. So, here’s to writing vows that will convey every word that you utter.

For more information on how to receive your vows professionally hand written email us at the address below.

Email: Stephaniemary@CDPNuptials.company.com

pexels-photo-313702

April 17, 2019April 18, 2019 Stephaniemary Fagbeyiro Love, Marriages, Relationships

Love vs Needs

I am no relationship guru, I have a had only a few serious relationships while dating. I guess you could say that as I became more mature in my expectations of what a normal, healthy relationship means, to me, I began to want more. Before the long relationships, before the kids it was okay to hang out all day with friends, I mean it was important to steal time away for your boyfriend, but I have always been an independent spirit.

Naturally, as your relationship grows and matures you and your beau desire to spend more time together and it can be a little frustrating, yet handled in a wise, manner learning how to balance a healthy relationship will give both partners the advantage in their relationship.

pexels-photo-792777

As bizarre as it may seem, some of the recent complications that I have experienced in my own relationship have stemmed from lack of taking care of the relationship. As a woman and some men, although men are more prone to automatically being cool with spending time away from their relationship/marriage, most women like a healthy balance, of love vs needs. Now, I know what you’re thinking. We all have needs, but what needs outside of your relationship could actually be that important? Well, the needs that I am referring to are and once again this may seem odd, but I’m sure some of you couples have experienced this. You and your beau are in a committed relationship, but you might not feel as if you’re as close as you may want to be. It may seem as if it is almost easier to balance work/love and life/love than it is this particular kind of madness.

It may be an outside influences like a member of your family placing their problems and or success of their relationship over yours. It could be someone that you consider a best friend who is constantly taking up your time, either out of jealousy, boredom or lust. The people might not even be aware of what they’re doing, but you and or your partner have taken noticed.

How do you make sure that if you happen to run into a similar situation like this one you can successfully learn to overcome not only the procrastination, the possible sketchiness of your love relationship vs the needs of anyone outside of your relationship. The word says (a man and woman) forsaking all others, this applies to married couples, more so than couples that are exclusive, although how you choose to apply the word, will determine your level of happiness in your love bond/family.

Okay, to me, when I experience outsiders -emotional needs, responses to how they think they should either contribute to my relationship or help in any way becoming either overly possessive, or careless, it’s time to re evaluate there are a few clear rules, or else things could just get out of control.

Let’s face it we are in a different day and time, their was a day when you could be exclusive and there was just less room for outside interference or distractions. These days its so much spiritual garbage around that you could be trying to have an actual physical conversation with your significant other and literally across the room, you’ll have a whole other person manipulating or trying to control your responses and reactions. Okay, ring the dinner bell and let’s eat. Beside unnecessary weight gain, exactly how have these people contributed to the security and sanctity of your union.

Ever one has their thing, if you are into commerce, or if you’re a student, or even if you just work every day for a living, and raising kids is yours perspective routine, you have to keep that in perspective. You wouldn’t very well sacrifice your entire life for something that could mean the world to you. Protect your investment.

You, friend, are an investment. You may not be exactly where you think you ought to be or want to be, perhaps you are. However, every day take time to instill that same positive energy that you would invest into outside activities and focus it into securing and nurturing your relationship. To the married, your relationship is the one thing that will keep you anchored and secure, which makes you even more confident in other areas of your lives. So keep what’s sacred, sacred and what is holy, holy and most importantly never let anyone turn your relationship into their emotional playground.

pexels-photo-1194034

Stephaniemary Fagbeyiro-Post/Blogger-Business Owner

April 13, 2019 Stephaniemary Fagbeyiro Featured Articles, Love, Marriages, Relationships

Featured Post: My Fiance Wanted A Housewife, But Did I Want To Be One?Washington Post

Credits for this article belong to author, Carrie Sun

typewriter-vintage-old-vintage-typewriter-163084

The first thing my best friend from college ever gave me was a card with a glittery ring on the cover. “Can’t wait until we marry the loves of our lives!” she’d said to me. We were 18.

That year, she also told me she was at MIT to find her “person” — romantically speaking — and that her goal was to be a housewife. A decade and a law degree later, she married someone she’d met during her junior year of college. She now spends her days taking care of their two adorable children in a Manhattan apartment.

At her wedding, standing next to her, I also had a glittery engagement ring on my left hand.

I’d met Craig by chance at a sushi restaurant in Boston. Two days later, we had dinner. Two months later, we moved in together. I fell for him because he was the first person who didn’t seem threatened by my personality or my career (and its earnings). “I love that you’re this Type A, ambitious woman,” he’d said early on. Craig was accomplished himself: He had an undergrad degree from Harvard, worked at a hedge fund and was about to go to Harvard Business School. To borrow a line from Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, he was the first boy I knew who cared that I had a brain — not only that, the first boy I knew who wanted me to use it.

Or so I’d thought.

I was in the throes of a quarter-life crisis, dropping out of a Wharton MBA because I didn’t want to stay in finance. Craig had told me he’d support me in whatever I wanted to be — author, cheese monger, stationery shop owner, portfolio manager. So when I told him I was thinking of graduate school, perhaps doing an MFA in creative writing, the last thing I expected him to say was: “But who’s going to cook dinner?”

Soon it became clear he did not want me to work or go to school. He wanted me to stay at home, cook, clean, curate our overprivileged lives and support his thriving business. If we had kids, they would have been mostly my responsibility as well.

“There is a big difference between believing in equality and being willing to live it — especially for men,” says feminist writer Jessica Valenti. Despite the progress of feminism and beliefs in gender equality, the percentage of American mothers who stay at home has remained fairly stable over the past 30 years. What’s more, the 2018 General Social Survey found that a quarter of Americans agreed with the statement “it is much better for everyone involved if the man is the achiever outside the home and the woman takes care of the home and family.” There is a progress gap facing women in their private lives: Some of these supposedly progressive men, like Craig, still seem to cheesemongers.

I worked in finance for the majority of the past decade and had three bosses, all men. All of them respected and believed in me at work — and all of them had brilliant wives who stayed at home. One of the wives went to Harvard; another, Wellesley; yet another, Brown. Other women around me — friends, co-workers, wives of friends and co-workers — were also dropping out of the workforce, for anywhere from months to years, to take care of their kids and family. The reasons for women making these decisions are varied. But what might be some reasons for men wanting their partners to quit work, beyond the obvious one of benefiting from unpaid domestic labor?

When I spoke to Dan Cassino, a professor of government and politics at Fairleigh Dickinson University, he noted that “men are constantly trying to prove their masculinity to themselves and to other men. When that’s threatened, men often try to take down women: degrade their spouse, do less housework, or assert themselves as the decision-maker.” As women have made serious educational and professional gains, some men, Cassino said, have sought to maintain the power they’ve always had by belittling their partners’ careers or persuading them to stay home. It’s a way of signaling their own manliness and success. Because equality, to these men, Cassino said, can feel like discrimination.

Craig tried hard to convince me that I could be happy at home. Although circumstances are different for every couple — and he and I were both blessed with a bucket of privileges — the logic of some of his arguments was interesting. First, an appeal to comparative advantage: Because I make more money than you, I will work and make our living; all you have to do is take care of our lives and make our home.

Second, an appeal to home production: We need a cozy home more than we need your pay. You’re so much better at taking care of the house.

Craig was using economics as a cover for sexism. I was thinking more about the long term. As women take themselves out of the workforce, economist Marina Adshade told me in a phone interview, “they forgo not only income from the years out of work, but they also forgo accumulated-on-the-job training, skills and years of work experience, which is a big determinant of future wages,” Moreover, the skills they have accrued will depreciate — and because money is power, Adshade said, their bargaining power within their relationship will erode. It’s not a one-time decision; it’s a lifetime decision.

I entertained Craig’s proposal because I loved him. At my best friend’s wedding, standing next to her, it was suddenly obvious I couldn’t give up my career for love. Some people do, like my friend floating down the aisle in her traditional white gown — and that’s great, if that’s what a woman truly wants.

But it wasn’t what I wanted. I spent the next few months interviewing and found a dream job in New York that I could not imagine turning down. When I told Craig, excitedly, that I’d gotten the offer, he gave me an ultimatum: “It’s the job, or me.”

By then, it was an easy decision. I packed my bags, left the ring, and moved out of our shared townhouse and into a cozy studio — making a home all my own.